Rea, I cannot imagine how hard it was to write that post. I can only imagine the pain, stretched out over the years.
From firsthand experience I know that you are teaching truth here
What is like to say for you, though, is that I'd like you to remember that we make the best decisions we can with the information we have at the time they are made. We can't beat ourselves up for notaking them based on what we know now
My heart goes out to Emile. I have two teenaged boys. They are complicated beings and it’s hard navigating life in those formative years. I’m also sorry to hear of your devastation at the loss of your own father. He must have been a wonderful dad. This was a very generous, vulnerable story to share. Hugs to you.
The most beautiful souls are those who are able to put their pain to purpose. Thank you for this vulnerable share. We need to be having more open and honest conversations about mental health in general.
Have you ever read from the book of Isaiah, Chapter 53. Can this be referring centuries earlier to anyone but Jesus of Nazareth who would later come ...
1Who has believed our message
and to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed?
2He grew up before him like a tender shoot,
and like a root out of dry ground.
He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,
nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.
3He was despised and rejected by mankind,
a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.
Like one from whom people hide their faces
he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.
4Surely he took up our pain
and bore our suffering,
yet we considered him punished by God,
stricken by him, and afflicted.
5But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
and by his wounds we are healed.
6We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
each of us has turned to our own way;
and the Lord has laid on him
the iniquity of us all.
7He was oppressed and afflicted,
yet he did not open his mouth;
he was led like a lamb to the slaughter,
and as a sheep before its shearers is silent,
so he did not open his mouth.
8By oppression a and judgment he was taken away.
Yet who of his generation protested?
For he was cut off from the land of the living;
for the transgression of my people he was punished. b
9He was assigned a grave with the wicked,
and with the rich in his death,
though he had done no violence,
nor was any deceit in his mouth.
10Yet it was the Lord’s will to crush him and cause him to suffer,
and though the Lord makes c his life an offering for sin,
he will see his offspring and prolong his days,
and the will of the Lord will prosper in his hand.
11After he has suffered,
he will see the light of life d and be satisfied e ;
by his knowledge f my righteous servant will justify many,
and he will bear their iniquities.
12Therefore I will give him a portion among the great, g
Rea thank you for sharing. How courageous you are to own your own shortcomings with such grace and a depth of understanding. Life is really really hard and there's no manual. We live and learn, hopefully, so we grow and do better. Sending love always.
Dear Rea, thank you for sharing this. It’s is interesting that you talk about your mistakes, when what I see here is the mistakes of those two men who failed your son. I’m so so sorry for what your family has been through. Sharing about it is courageous and sure to help others💕
Thank you Kristi. They did fail him, and this is why I wrote this, so that others don't make the same mistakes. Hopefully men will also read and learn to be caring and supportive. 🫶
As always, my heart goes out to you. I wholly understand the ability to attract men with no substance. My sons and stepson son all feel disconnected from their father. While he sometimes tries, he is not the one in his lineage to break the chain that has run through his family for years. He thought he did, but as an outsider looking in on that, he has not. I am now left to deal with being the stable human in their lives. I like to think I have done the best I could; I sometimes feel like I have let them down. Even more so recently.
No one is perfect. I get that. I also feel your pain. I can only hope you can move forward, and I can see this is helping you. It is also helping me.
You are worthy, always! Our sons indeed have mothers that love them. I just told my middle son this morning that I did the best I could and would never claim to have done everything perfectly. He understood without question. We do love our sons. Unconditionally.
Rea, such honesty in your post, which I hugely admire. Thank you for sharing this, owning the imperfection…we all have it, some are just ‘better’ at screening it. Sending love 🤗
Right back at you ♥️ Your words will help lots of people Rea, more than you will ever actually know. This is the nature of Substack isn’t it! Make sure you do something nice for yourself now, this level of self-exposure can take it out on us I think x
What a painful life you have had, and it’s heartbreaking how you have blamed yourself for putting your trust in these two men who let you down badly. It is a shared responsibility of the whole community when someone takes their own life, but as Emile’s mother, you cannot help but shoulder the maximum amount of pain because he was your baby. All I can do is hold you in my heart and send you my love .
Oh, Rea 💔 absolutely heartbreaking. I'm so sorry for your loss. The mistakes we make in our youth can ripple across time. The wisdom we learn along the way usually gets us to where we need to be. I'm just so sorry your eldest son isn't with you. As I said, I can't imagine how you move forward, but we must. You are one very resilient lady—so brave. Thank you for your vulnerability in sharing this harrowing story. 🤍
Rea, my heart goes out to you and thank you for sharing this! As a parent to 2 kids myself(2 girls) I know how hard it is sometimes and the feeling of hopelessness one feels when you're child becomes hurt and is or is led astray. I am so sorry about the loss of your son.
Thank you for reminding to be a more present father!
As I’m sure you know, my heart goes out to you and praises you for writing about something so profound, painful, and important. Thank you for being here and sharing your story 💗💗
Another beautifully written and honest post. We do the best with what we have, right? I have no doubt that you were doing your absolute best for both of your boys. It's easy to judge actions in hindsight. Sharing your story and difficult experiences on this platform is selfless, beautiful, and important work, Rea.
Rea, I cannot imagine how hard it was to write that post. I can only imagine the pain, stretched out over the years.
From firsthand experience I know that you are teaching truth here
What is like to say for you, though, is that I'd like you to remember that we make the best decisions we can with the information we have at the time they are made. We can't beat ourselves up for notaking them based on what we know now
Wishing you peace,
Mike
This is the reason I wrote this Mike. People can learn from my mistakes.
Thank you for this beautiful comment Mike. I appreciate you. 🫶
My heart goes out to Emile. I have two teenaged boys. They are complicated beings and it’s hard navigating life in those formative years. I’m also sorry to hear of your devastation at the loss of your own father. He must have been a wonderful dad. This was a very generous, vulnerable story to share. Hugs to you.
Thank you Amy. 🫶
Sending love and empathy… 💕
Thank you Lasita. 💕
Thanks for my coffee 😊
The most beautiful souls are those who are able to put their pain to purpose. Thank you for this vulnerable share. We need to be having more open and honest conversations about mental health in general.
Exactly Stephanie! And weak male figures. Thank you. 💕
Some griefs are too large. Too much to bear.
Have you ever read from the book of Isaiah, Chapter 53. Can this be referring centuries earlier to anyone but Jesus of Nazareth who would later come ...
1Who has believed our message
and to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed?
2He grew up before him like a tender shoot,
and like a root out of dry ground.
He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,
nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.
3He was despised and rejected by mankind,
a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.
Like one from whom people hide their faces
he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.
4Surely he took up our pain
and bore our suffering,
yet we considered him punished by God,
stricken by him, and afflicted.
5But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
and by his wounds we are healed.
6We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
each of us has turned to our own way;
and the Lord has laid on him
the iniquity of us all.
7He was oppressed and afflicted,
yet he did not open his mouth;
he was led like a lamb to the slaughter,
and as a sheep before its shearers is silent,
so he did not open his mouth.
8By oppression a and judgment he was taken away.
Yet who of his generation protested?
For he was cut off from the land of the living;
for the transgression of my people he was punished. b
9He was assigned a grave with the wicked,
and with the rich in his death,
though he had done no violence,
nor was any deceit in his mouth.
10Yet it was the Lord’s will to crush him and cause him to suffer,
and though the Lord makes c his life an offering for sin,
he will see his offspring and prolong his days,
and the will of the Lord will prosper in his hand.
11After he has suffered,
he will see the light of life d and be satisfied e ;
by his knowledge f my righteous servant will justify many,
and he will bear their iniquities.
12Therefore I will give him a portion among the great, g
and he will divide the spoils with the strong, h
because he poured out his life unto death,
and was numbered with the transgressors.
For he bore the sin of many,
and made intercession for the transgressors.
Wow Todd!! My goodness. You are right, some are too large to bear.
Rea thank you for sharing. How courageous you are to own your own shortcomings with such grace and a depth of understanding. Life is really really hard and there's no manual. We live and learn, hopefully, so we grow and do better. Sending love always.
Thank you Sue!! That is all we can do, learn and grow.
Yes. Xo
Dear Rea, thank you for sharing this. It’s is interesting that you talk about your mistakes, when what I see here is the mistakes of those two men who failed your son. I’m so so sorry for what your family has been through. Sharing about it is courageous and sure to help others💕
Thank you Kristi. They did fail him, and this is why I wrote this, so that others don't make the same mistakes. Hopefully men will also read and learn to be caring and supportive. 🫶
As always, my heart goes out to you. I wholly understand the ability to attract men with no substance. My sons and stepson son all feel disconnected from their father. While he sometimes tries, he is not the one in his lineage to break the chain that has run through his family for years. He thought he did, but as an outsider looking in on that, he has not. I am now left to deal with being the stable human in their lives. I like to think I have done the best I could; I sometimes feel like I have let them down. Even more so recently.
No one is perfect. I get that. I also feel your pain. I can only hope you can move forward, and I can see this is helping you. It is also helping me.
Sending Peace and Love to you, Rea.
Thank God my youngest son is a strong decent loving young man.
We did the best we could Aurelia. If only we all came with instruction manuals!
Our children have mothers who love them. You are worthy my friend. 💞
You are worthy, always! Our sons indeed have mothers that love them. I just told my middle son this morning that I did the best I could and would never claim to have done everything perfectly. He understood without question. We do love our sons. Unconditionally.
🙏🙏
Rea, such honesty in your post, which I hugely admire. Thank you for sharing this, owning the imperfection…we all have it, some are just ‘better’ at screening it. Sending love 🤗
Thank you! It was a hard one to write, but if my words can help someone in this situation then everything wasn't in vain. Love you my friend! 🫶
Right back at you ♥️ Your words will help lots of people Rea, more than you will ever actually know. This is the nature of Substack isn’t it! Make sure you do something nice for yourself now, this level of self-exposure can take it out on us I think x
Yes! I am having a cup of soup. Thank you my friend. 🩷🩷
You are right! I am a testament to what you said.
As am I Aurelia. 🤗
❤️❤️❤️
Thank you, Ang. <3
What a painful life you have had, and it’s heartbreaking how you have blamed yourself for putting your trust in these two men who let you down badly. It is a shared responsibility of the whole community when someone takes their own life, but as Emile’s mother, you cannot help but shoulder the maximum amount of pain because he was your baby. All I can do is hold you in my heart and send you my love .
Thank you for your lovely comment Sarah. I am grateful that the Universe gave me the strength to survive. I now know I was stronger than them. 🙏
Oh, Rea 💔 absolutely heartbreaking. I'm so sorry for your loss. The mistakes we make in our youth can ripple across time. The wisdom we learn along the way usually gets us to where we need to be. I'm just so sorry your eldest son isn't with you. As I said, I can't imagine how you move forward, but we must. You are one very resilient lady—so brave. Thank you for your vulnerability in sharing this harrowing story. 🤍
Thank you for your beautiful comment Marcia. Hard lessons we have to learn. But as long as something good comes from me sharing my story.
❤️❤️
So true, Rea 🤍🤍
Rea, my heart goes out to you and thank you for sharing this! As a parent to 2 kids myself(2 girls) I know how hard it is sometimes and the feeling of hopelessness one feels when you're child becomes hurt and is or is led astray. I am so sorry about the loss of your son.
Thank you for reminding to be a more present father!
Thank you for this beautiful comment David! You are doing a great job, because you love them! 💞
As I’m sure you know, my heart goes out to you and praises you for writing about something so profound, painful, and important. Thank you for being here and sharing your story 💗💗
Thank you Sandra! I appreciate your kind words. 💗💗
You’re so brave sharing your story to help others. Thank you 💔❤️🩹❤️
Thank you Piata. ❤️🩹❤️
Another beautifully written and honest post. We do the best with what we have, right? I have no doubt that you were doing your absolute best for both of your boys. It's easy to judge actions in hindsight. Sharing your story and difficult experiences on this platform is selfless, beautiful, and important work, Rea.
You touch my heart Lindsay. We do what we can. Nobody knows the outcome in advance. Thank you.