I find myself dealing with this often, especially with some of the organizations I belong to. Like most things I don't think we can erase it. If I can stop one suicide, just one, then I know more will follow. If I can write my story with enough truth, enough rawness, enough light, then another life may stay. And then, the math takes over. One saving another, and another, until hope is no longer rare. I cannot stop them all, but I can stop one. And one can stop another. And maybe, just maybe, that is how we get there
I lost my husband in 2016 and dad in 2019 to suicide. I did the best I could to save them, with what I knew at the time. I no longer feel guilt, blame or shame. No-one left behind should feel this.
However a family left behind is at higher risk of suicide so I dedicate my life to learning about trauma so I can improve my approach for myself and my children to help protect us.
I think we can make shifts as a society to lower risk 💔❤️🩹❤️
Oh wow, what a thoughtful and moving piece Rea. I agree about adding awareness to the survivors of suicide. So many of us want to help others choose to live, but us supporters don't know the true thoughts of those who hide their intentions so well. I am so sorry about the loss of your son. Thank you for sharing this piece 🫶🏻
Whilst ever we try to pigeon hole people not accepting people for who they want to be, rather than the virtue inside people are going to commit suicide.
John, your words ring so true. Acceptance is key, but only if people share their struggles and the demons they fight. We can't be there if we don't know. Hugs
Wow, thank you for sharing this. I have worked mental health off and on my whole life and I think in many cases, I agree, it cannot be prevented. No amount of love, money, or power things most would call comfort still can’t prevent it. I’m very sorry you have had to endure such pain.
Thank you Jessica! I have spoken to hundreds of parents who lost a child to suicide and many attest to this. They had done everything possible, and still could not save their precious child.
Just subscribed to you Jessica as I do agree with what you just said. My next post (will be posting today all being well) is on this very subject, would love you to take a read x
Jumping in on your conversation thread Piata and Rea. I talked to Dom’s therapist after he died and she said she thought he was ND. Of course I immediately felt guilty that I’d not been more attentive. To me he was just gloriously Dom, a sensitive, creative and unique boy
Thank you for adding your voice to this. Guilt was a debilitating emotion I struggled with constantly. When I let go of it I was able to write articles for national newspapers here in South Africa, to raise awareness. The feedback I received was astonishing.
Wow. That encourages me Rea, I’m in the process of writing a book about losing Dom and hoping this will be received as sending an important message to other parents…namely, try to put down that guilt!!!
There’s a crossover with trauma and ND as we suffer trauma living in a neurotypical world so it’s difficult to unpick and diagnose. But it’s something I consider for my late husband, dad, myself and my children. We’re drawn together as we more easily see each other I suppose.
My late husband was a sensitive soul. He needed more time to rest and often got overwhelmed with everyday living and on a few occasions completely burnt out. Which I now believe on top of other layers of trauma, left him at risk of suicide.
He used to say ‘when will it all end’ and ‘I’m not made for this world’. He had a dry and wicked sense of humour (and so did my dad) so it’s only after his death that I take these comments seriously xx
I know exactly what you mean Piata. Only after my son died did I truly understand the cryptic words he spoke. Thank you for clarifying. Love and peace coming your way!
I find myself dealing with this often, especially with some of the organizations I belong to. Like most things I don't think we can erase it. If I can stop one suicide, just one, then I know more will follow. If I can write my story with enough truth, enough rawness, enough light, then another life may stay. And then, the math takes over. One saving another, and another, until hope is no longer rare. I cannot stop them all, but I can stop one. And one can stop another. And maybe, just maybe, that is how we get there
I know exactly what you are saying Joe. Only one life, will be worth all my tears. Thank you for being out there and trying. We live in hope.
I’m driven to do this too xx
I lost my husband in 2016 and dad in 2019 to suicide. I did the best I could to save them, with what I knew at the time. I no longer feel guilt, blame or shame. No-one left behind should feel this.
However a family left behind is at higher risk of suicide so I dedicate my life to learning about trauma so I can improve my approach for myself and my children to help protect us.
I think we can make shifts as a society to lower risk 💔❤️🩹❤️
Thank you for the great work you do, Piata!
Oh wow, what a thoughtful and moving piece Rea. I agree about adding awareness to the survivors of suicide. So many of us want to help others choose to live, but us supporters don't know the true thoughts of those who hide their intentions so well. I am so sorry about the loss of your son. Thank you for sharing this piece 🫶🏻
Thank you for your comforting comment Carly. You are right, if only we knew how. 💞
Whilst ever we try to pigeon hole people not accepting people for who they want to be, rather than the virtue inside people are going to commit suicide.
John, your words ring so true. Acceptance is key, but only if people share their struggles and the demons they fight. We can't be there if we don't know. Hugs
Wow, thank you for sharing this. I have worked mental health off and on my whole life and I think in many cases, I agree, it cannot be prevented. No amount of love, money, or power things most would call comfort still can’t prevent it. I’m very sorry you have had to endure such pain.
Thank you Jessica! I have spoken to hundreds of parents who lost a child to suicide and many attest to this. They had done everything possible, and still could not save their precious child.
So very hard! For both.
Just subscribed to you Jessica as I do agree with what you just said. My next post (will be posting today all being well) is on this very subject, would love you to take a read x
I want to read this Rea. I can't. You know why. Crying already. I'll try to read it later. I'm sorry.
No need to read it, Daniel. Hugs
Thank you for being an advocate for the survivors. Another powerful message.
So very true, for there future journeys. 🙏
Thank you, Mark. Survivors are the victims, as much as the person who dies by suicide.
I'm so sorry for your son's pain, and for yours.
Thank you Amy. 🫶
This was really touching, as a suicide survivor i know I put my own mom and dad through hell though.
Marie, I put my children through this hell. Thank goodness we are free from it. Hugs 🩷🩵💛
Much love and healing to you! Thank you for your beautiful words. They resonate with me. I lost my sister to suicide 10 years ago. 🙌💗🙌
I'm sorry about the loss of your sister Jeanie. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing about this sensitive, deep topic. Suicide is something I’ve dealt with personally too.
I am sorry suicide touched your life too Raman.
Agreed! Thinking of you, Rea.
Thank you Amy! Thinking of you and missing your words.
I feel for you! Thank you for telling me your side of this, humankind needs education. Hugs ❤
I wonder about ND in our family. We’ve suffered 2 suicides xx
Oh my goodness Piata! That's very sad. What does ND stand for?
Jumping in on your conversation thread Piata and Rea. I talked to Dom’s therapist after he died and she said she thought he was ND. Of course I immediately felt guilty that I’d not been more attentive. To me he was just gloriously Dom, a sensitive, creative and unique boy
Thank you for adding your voice to this. Guilt was a debilitating emotion I struggled with constantly. When I let go of it I was able to write articles for national newspapers here in South Africa, to raise awareness. The feedback I received was astonishing.
Wow. That encourages me Rea, I’m in the process of writing a book about losing Dom and hoping this will be received as sending an important message to other parents…namely, try to put down that guilt!!!
https://reademiranda.substack.com/p/the-battle-before-suicide
Neurodivergent
There’s a crossover with trauma and ND as we suffer trauma living in a neurotypical world so it’s difficult to unpick and diagnose. But it’s something I consider for my late husband, dad, myself and my children. We’re drawn together as we more easily see each other I suppose.
My late husband was a sensitive soul. He needed more time to rest and often got overwhelmed with everyday living and on a few occasions completely burnt out. Which I now believe on top of other layers of trauma, left him at risk of suicide.
He used to say ‘when will it all end’ and ‘I’m not made for this world’. He had a dry and wicked sense of humour (and so did my dad) so it’s only after his death that I take these comments seriously xx
I know exactly what you mean Piata. Only after my son died did I truly understand the cryptic words he spoke. Thank you for clarifying. Love and peace coming your way!
Powerful, thank you. Shared
Thank you for sharing!
I am thankful for learning about it. Hugs my friend.
Yes I struggle to feel seen too. John and I were soul mates. I miss him deeply 💔.
However life wasn’t easy at times as our traumas impacted our relationship.
So I’m now totally invested in trauma healing to improve all my relationships and to find joy again ❤️🩹
🤍🤍
Thank you 🙏 It enables me to offer trauma-informed parenting ❤️🩹