Completely agree. An ex employer's last words to me were "you're sick." A man has called me delusional, irrational, confused, mental....That lost goes on. It is abuse. Men, doctors, our family, friends we once had...they all need to stop. We grieve and grieve fall down and fall apart because o the children are dead and we go on living half dead.
How can an employer say things like that? The world desperately needs education on this topic. It is not the dark ages, for goodness sake! Sending you love Lynda.
I have mental illness anyway, so i take meds , but after my son died , my hospital notes say “adjustment disorder.” It really cut me . People said they just write that when they’re still in the process of figuring out what diagnosis you have / how to help you. But why do they even need to do that? I don’t have a disorder. I’m not having a hard time adjusting as If it’s something like I lost my bracelet and I’m having some extreme reaction over it. I lost my children, my whole universe , heart and soul . There’s no appropriate reaction to that!
Exactly Aliyah! Why do we have to suffer needlessly and then be pumped full of drugs? It only prolongs the agony, it is not a cure! Sending you love and hugs!
This is so true. I live with a severe mental illness and I am also in grief. The two are distinctly different. I heard that they were adding prolonged grief to the DSM-VI and I sincerely hope they do not.
Ah, yes, it’s an American way. It’s all the mental illness diagnoses and their diagnostic criteria. I believe the rest of the world uses the International Classification of Diseases (ICD).
This is so true!! As someone who has had SO MUCH GRIEF, I truly wish I had known it wasn’t wrong to grieve. Thank you for sharing about the groups who offer help.
I'm sorry you had no support Rachel. There are also Compassionate Friends, where grieving people support each other. They were also a great help to me. They offer therapy and books to help us heal. I was an investigative journalist so I had contacts all over, and found all these support groups through them. Sending love and healing.
I just wanted to share my experience with ECT. I was very apprehensive about it. I was worried it would destroy my memory, that it would alter my brain forever, but it didn’t. ECT is a far cry from what it was in the 1950s. It is safe and is now an alternative to medication in pregnant women thus reducing potential birth defects, and can actually reduce the amount of meds people take. It provides fast relief for treatment resistant depression and severe suicidality. It helped me and it saves lives. Misdiagnosis is devastating but ECT, for people who can be helped by it, is safe and effective. I know reading up on it helped me have more peace of mind.
Thank you for clarifying this for me Gabrielle. It shows you how fast the medical field advances on a daily basis. Thank you for educating me on this subject.
I completely agree. Unfortunately, heartbreak in grief is only something the person can resolve on their own. If the individual is unable to resolve the grief, they have to learn to manage it on their own. No amount of drugs or archaic conventions can do this. Also, each person is different in their grieving process.
I have been told that I absolutely need to grieve the loss of a loved one. My sister, my mom, my dad, friends, whatever. The way I grieve is in stark contrast to the way my daughter grieves. I grieve without tears and focus on moving forward. I think about the person often and even take the time to have my 'sad thoughts.' I just don't cry it out. As much as I would like to, that is not how my situation works for me.
My Father passed in 2009 and Mom in 2022. My daughter was very close to her grandparents as she used to spend her summers with them out of choice. She is still grieving to this day. She takes off from work every year on their birthday and the aniversary of their death. She makes social media posts and has a really tough day on those days. The only thing we can do is just be there for her and talk about it if she so chooses. This is her way of grieving.
Further, grief never goes away. That's for sure. We can only learn to move forward with it. Whether it is pushing it into the corner of your mind or to 'celebrate' it, everyone is different and you are right. Drugs are not the solution.
When human experience becomes a disorder we have gone off track. Western culture can be so disconnected...we can learn from cultures that create room for grieving and do not sanitize death. I see that in the African cultures.
Merci beaucoup pour votre message je suis complètement d’accord avec vous. Depuis 1992 j suis infirmière en réanimation néonatale à Paris (vocation ) but…!!! Burn-out en 2004 et TS !! Donc réanimation médicale et toxicologique !!!… et traitement médicamenteux ( benzodiazepibes, régulateurs de l’humeur ( lithium /…allergie !!!…) psychotropes divers!!! Et séances D’ECT!!! 100 séances en 20 ans!!! Donc 100 anesthésies générales !!!… et la mémoire??!! J’en ai plus?!! Tout ça pour être VICTIME D’UNE ERREUR DE DIAGNOSTIC !!! Je ne suis pas bipolaire !!! Juste infirmière dévouée et très impliquée dans son travail difficile et SANS AUCUN RESPECT NI SOUTIEN PSYCHOLOGIQUE pour nous aider à traverser et surmonter la mort des nouveaux-nés…! Et les parents…
Brefff!! Je me réveille enfin après tant d’années de maltraitance en psychiatrie !!!attachée enfermée…!!! Sans manger parfois!! Et. Sans traitement lors de ma dernière hospitalisation en fevrier dernier!!!
Je viens juste de demander mon dossier médical…. Pour porter plainte….. ils me disent que c’est trop vieux!! Ils le trouvent pas !!! C’est très GRAVE !
I found the translation. This is preposterous! I can't believe how they get it so wrong time and time again. I hope this will be resolved for you, and soon! Sending love and support!
Completely agree. An ex employer's last words to me were "you're sick." A man has called me delusional, irrational, confused, mental....That lost goes on. It is abuse. Men, doctors, our family, friends we once had...they all need to stop. We grieve and grieve fall down and fall apart because o the children are dead and we go on living half dead.
How can an employer say things like that? The world desperately needs education on this topic. It is not the dark ages, for goodness sake! Sending you love Lynda.
Agree. Thanks
Thank you for sharing this truth!!
I have mental illness anyway, so i take meds , but after my son died , my hospital notes say “adjustment disorder.” It really cut me . People said they just write that when they’re still in the process of figuring out what diagnosis you have / how to help you. But why do they even need to do that? I don’t have a disorder. I’m not having a hard time adjusting as If it’s something like I lost my bracelet and I’m having some extreme reaction over it. I lost my children, my whole universe , heart and soul . There’s no appropriate reaction to that!
Thank you for this important read .
Exactly Aliyah! Why do we have to suffer needlessly and then be pumped full of drugs? It only prolongs the agony, it is not a cure! Sending you love and hugs!
Thank you, hugs back!
This is so true. I live with a severe mental illness and I am also in grief. The two are distinctly different. I heard that they were adding prolonged grief to the DSM-VI and I sincerely hope they do not.
Precisely Melanie! I don’t know what DSM-VI is? I live in South Africa, that’s my excuse. I wish they would wake up from their drug pushing trance.
Ah, yes, it’s an American way. It’s all the mental illness diagnoses and their diagnostic criteria. I believe the rest of the world uses the International Classification of Diseases (ICD).
Thanks for clarifying Melanie.
Of course. You know that America always has to be different. 😂
Hahaha Of course!
This is so true!! As someone who has had SO MUCH GRIEF, I truly wish I had known it wasn’t wrong to grieve. Thank you for sharing about the groups who offer help.
I'm sorry you had no support Rachel. There are also Compassionate Friends, where grieving people support each other. They were also a great help to me. They offer therapy and books to help us heal. I was an investigative journalist so I had contacts all over, and found all these support groups through them. Sending love and healing.
Such an important post Rea. Thank you 💔❤️🩹❤️
Oh my no!!!! Great piece and excellent awareness - had no idea these invasive procedures are still used! Grief needs space.
Exactly! As if grief needs to be electrocuted out of you!
I just wanted to share my experience with ECT. I was very apprehensive about it. I was worried it would destroy my memory, that it would alter my brain forever, but it didn’t. ECT is a far cry from what it was in the 1950s. It is safe and is now an alternative to medication in pregnant women thus reducing potential birth defects, and can actually reduce the amount of meds people take. It provides fast relief for treatment resistant depression and severe suicidality. It helped me and it saves lives. Misdiagnosis is devastating but ECT, for people who can be helped by it, is safe and effective. I know reading up on it helped me have more peace of mind.
Thank you for clarifying this for me Gabrielle. It shows you how fast the medical field advances on a daily basis. Thank you for educating me on this subject.
We're all in this together and I'm so glad you're here bringing your own wisdom and experiences
Your words ring true Rea. And I'm sure resonating and helping many ❤️🙏✨
Thank you Nicola! 💗💫
I completely agree. Unfortunately, heartbreak in grief is only something the person can resolve on their own. If the individual is unable to resolve the grief, they have to learn to manage it on their own. No amount of drugs or archaic conventions can do this. Also, each person is different in their grieving process.
I have been told that I absolutely need to grieve the loss of a loved one. My sister, my mom, my dad, friends, whatever. The way I grieve is in stark contrast to the way my daughter grieves. I grieve without tears and focus on moving forward. I think about the person often and even take the time to have my 'sad thoughts.' I just don't cry it out. As much as I would like to, that is not how my situation works for me.
My Father passed in 2009 and Mom in 2022. My daughter was very close to her grandparents as she used to spend her summers with them out of choice. She is still grieving to this day. She takes off from work every year on their birthday and the aniversary of their death. She makes social media posts and has a really tough day on those days. The only thing we can do is just be there for her and talk about it if she so chooses. This is her way of grieving.
Further, grief never goes away. That's for sure. We can only learn to move forward with it. Whether it is pushing it into the corner of your mind or to 'celebrate' it, everyone is different and you are right. Drugs are not the solution.
You are right Aurelia. We all grieve in our own way. Sending love. 💞
When human experience becomes a disorder we have gone off track. Western culture can be so disconnected...we can learn from cultures that create room for grieving and do not sanitize death. I see that in the African cultures.
Speaking up about this is so necessary.
Yes, I saw the same thing in African cultures. They are more in touch than Western cultures. Thank you for your comment Terry!
Restacking as this needs to be read widely!
Thank you!
Merci beaucoup pour votre message je suis complètement d’accord avec vous. Depuis 1992 j suis infirmière en réanimation néonatale à Paris (vocation ) but…!!! Burn-out en 2004 et TS !! Donc réanimation médicale et toxicologique !!!… et traitement médicamenteux ( benzodiazepibes, régulateurs de l’humeur ( lithium /…allergie !!!…) psychotropes divers!!! Et séances D’ECT!!! 100 séances en 20 ans!!! Donc 100 anesthésies générales !!!… et la mémoire??!! J’en ai plus?!! Tout ça pour être VICTIME D’UNE ERREUR DE DIAGNOSTIC !!! Je ne suis pas bipolaire !!! Juste infirmière dévouée et très impliquée dans son travail difficile et SANS AUCUN RESPECT NI SOUTIEN PSYCHOLOGIQUE pour nous aider à traverser et surmonter la mort des nouveaux-nés…! Et les parents…
Brefff!! Je me réveille enfin après tant d’années de maltraitance en psychiatrie !!!attachée enfermée…!!! Sans manger parfois!! Et. Sans traitement lors de ma dernière hospitalisation en fevrier dernier!!!
Je viens juste de demander mon dossier médical…. Pour porter plainte….. ils me disent que c’est trop vieux!! Ils le trouvent pas !!! C’est très GRAVE !
I don't understand one word you wrote here. But thank you! Could you please translate it to English s'il te plaît?
I found the translation. This is preposterous! I can't believe how they get it so wrong time and time again. I hope this will be resolved for you, and soon! Sending love and support!
It's true.. mental illness can never be treated with medicines.
I feel mental illness can be treated by medication, but not grief.
Oh god I know Melanie! It makes me mad! Thank you for this beautiful message my friend. Sending love peace and light.