I Am

What God intended.

For most of my life, I felt the Universe had made a huge mistake in choosing my family and my body. My birth seemed to echo my displeasure and refusal to enter this life. I was born with the umbilical cord wrapped twice around my neck. The midwife saved the life I didn’t want.

My body always seemed to stir the sexual depravity in men. Their filthy desires started when I was a little girl. Men who were excited by a little girl’s body. Growing up, I encountered many of these cretins. My mother made sure to let me know that I was squarely to blame.

How can you feel comfortable in your body when everyone around you makes you feel self-conscious about it? It never ended. As an adult, I had to fend off many men, constantly. My body was a magnet for their madness.

The worst of this was that they always managed to make me feel guilty and ashamed. In their disturbed minds, my body wanted to be touched by their groping hands. They truly believed it. While I was shrinking away from them, they were mindless in their pursuit. It sickens me how predators always manage to blame the victims.

I abused my body for many years, and it just never gave up on me. Eventually, I fell in love with it. It was all mine, and it was magnificent. I stopped feeling embarrassed by it, I reveled in it. This amazing body has carried my soul and survived everything I did to it. It’s small and fragile, and I am ashamed of how I treated it with hatred.

The day I realized this miracle, I began carrying it proudly. It was a gift bestowed on me by the Universe, not a curse. Their sexual deviance was not my burden to bear. My existence isn’t measured by someone else and their unholy needs. They will stand in judgment of their own transgressions.

I am deeply grateful for this human experience. My soul would never have learned the lessons it did, had it not been for this precious life. I am what God intended.

This post has been written in conjunction with IAMday

Namaste