Being Deaf in a Hearing World

My brother is 89% deaf, that means he is almost completely deaf.

Photo by Mark Paton on Unsplash

My brother is 89% deaf; he wasn’t born that way but became deaf at birth. The negative rhesus factor of my mother’s blood is harmful to her unborn babies. Years ago, a baby born from this had to have a blood transfusion immediately after birth. My oldest brother and I seemed to be fine, but when he was born, he needed a blood transfusion or would have died. My father had to travel to the blood bank to fetch the blood, and it arrived a little too late. They can’t explain why my brother became deaf because of that.

He hears only low sounds with his 11% hearing, which seems a bit strange. You would think they will hear high sounds. I think it has more to do with the bass feeling of the sounds. When he was small, we didn’t know he was deaf and thought he had a mental affliction because he ignored everyone talking to him. My mother placed him in a special school where the teacher had the intelligence to have his hearing tested.

She was a speech therapist and taught him to speak. When you hear him speak, you won’t know he is almost completely deaf. As a result of this, he taught himself to lip read when he was small, and I learned it along with him. We can have lots of conversations without sound, and it is fun to see people’s faces when we talk and they don’t know what we are saying.

Being deaf is frustrating for him, and he becomes angry when people talk with their faces turned away. Most of the deaf people I have met over the years are very short-tempered. It must be maddening when others talk around you, and you can’t follow the conversation. He can speak sign language as well, even though he was in a school for the hard of hearing.

When he was tested by an audiologist to ascertain the level of his deafness, they suggested a school for the deaf. However, the principal recommended a school for the hard of hearing because of his ability to speak like a normal person. He said he would lose that because most deaf people communicate in sign language.

It is fascinating to see these people talk with their hands, and because they can’t hear themselves, they make noises while “talking”. It was very unnerving for me to hear that the first time I met completely deaf people. Because they sound mentally handicapped, lots of people treat them that way as well. It makes them feel very self-conscious and uncomfortable when hearing people talk very loud with funny facial expressions enunciating every word. I had to tell many people it won’t help to scream at him or pull their faces because it won’t make him hear them.

He gave up telling people that he isn’t stupid just because he is deaf. If they just speak normally and look at him, he can understand every word because he reads their lips. Most people don’t care what they say near a deaf person. They think if they talk soft or if they are a good distance away the deaf person won’t understand them. It is hard for him to know they are talking nonsense about him, thinking he doesn’t know because he is deaf.

We’ve had a lot of fun growing up as well, talking about people in their presence without them knowing what we are saying. I think it gave him an edge to be able to talk about them while they needed to hear what was said. It makes a deaf person very uncomfortable being talked to like they are dumb.

To be treated like an idiot is a very difficult thing to live with, and he has become an alcoholic over the years. I feel sorry for him because I know what it is like for him to be living in a hearing world. He always feels as if he is less of a human because society treats him that way. So next time you meet a deaf person please just talk normal and don’t pull your face as if you are talking to someone who is mentally retarded.

I would greatly appreciate