Can You Love a Killer?

If your child or partner was a killer, could you love him/her?

There are children (not only teenagers but adults) who can’t be loved, however hard a mother tries. These people are mentally disturbed, and some are just plain evil. I am sure you have all read about the two 10-year-old boys from England who cruelly tortured, sexually assaulted, and beat a 2-year-old boy to death a few years ago. They callously left his little body on the train tracks and walked away without a care in the world. One of the boys was sexually and physically abused by his father, which can explain why he became a cold-hearted killer. The other boy claimed he was bullied into the act by his friend. This seems to indicate that some children are weak and can commit criminal acts under pressure

The same thing happened when four boys killed a homeless man in a park in South Africa several years ago. They all grew up in seemingly good homes. One boy felt guilt-ridden and told his parents what happened. He turned himself in with their support. Only one of the boys showed signs of remorse, but the rest acted with complete indifference. The parents of these boys wanted everything to be swept under the rug and forgotten. How can a parent condone this kind of action? Will this not teach a child that there is nothing wrong with killing? Even if the victim was a homeless man, it doesn’t give them the right to take his life.

We read about young girls killing newborn babies because they don’t want the responsibility of taking care of them. A mother kills her children and explains her actions by saying she wasn’t a good mother and that the children were not developing correctly. Are these people born evil, or are the wiring in their heads wrong, like some experts believe?

Psychopaths are described as superficially charming but also self-centred, undependable, dishonest, and individuals who will sometimes do irresponsible things just because they feel like it. They have no feelings of guilt, love, or empathy, and thus their relationships with others are casual. Ted Bundy is a famous example of this. Some killers and rapists’ reasons for their actions are revenge against an abuser, self-protection, or to get rid of a witness to the rape, or another crimes.

To absolve themselves of their crimes, they use inane excuses like it’s not my fault she was wearing sexy clothing, her bedroom window was wide open, the gun just went off, I was high on drugs, the devil made me do it. Many people and children whose stunning lack of conscience about what they did wrong proves that some suffer from mental health conditions or disorders, but others refuse to take responsibility for their actions.

If you have done all you can to teach your child about what is morally correct, and they still grow up to do things like this, can you forgive them repeatedly and still love them? I must be honest and say that I am unsure if I will be able to. There can be situations of peer pressure that lead to wrongdoings, and if someone shows remorse and changes their life, you can love and forgive them. But if they don’t care about their actions and the consequences of them, and refuse to change, can you still love them?

Namaste