Death

Frees the breath from its restless tides.

“For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?
And what is it to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?” - Kahlil Gibran

For most of my life, I was terrified of death. The mere thought that I could die at any moment made me anxious. I didn’t even want to entertain the idea that death was waiting for me somewhere. When I lost my son, Emile, those thoughts of death became a reality. I experienced acute anxiety, my heart would start thumping as if it was getting ready to jump out of my chest and terror took over my senses.

My son was now where nightmares lay. Even though death scared me I wanted to go to him, so that he didn’t need to be alone. Someone told me his soul was never going to rest because he took his own life. That thought drove me insane. Dead and all alone. It was too much to bear. I tried to kill myself countless times because I wanted him to feel safe.

These words of Kahlil Gibran, written centuries ago, gave me strength. It was beautiful to think that Emile was now free from his restless tides, and could find God unencumbered. His soul melted into the soul of God. Filled with indescribable love

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“Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.” Kahlil Gibran

My son is dancing in the heavens now, with songs of praise on his lips. He sent me many messages on my road to healing, affirming this. But that is for another post.

I don’t believe there is a hell, and nobody who dies by suicide will be thrown into purgatory. God met him that day he decided life was unbearable. My fears that he would suffer where he is now, was allayed by the beautiful words of The Prophet.

Namaste