43 Comments
User's avatar
Melanie Cole's avatar

I am so sorry for your loss and I am so terribly sorry that someone would even have the audacity to say something like that to you in your grief. My favorite quote on grief is “Grief is a love story told backwards.” It gets me every time. I’m tearing up thinking of you and your son. Sending love and light to you.

Rea de Miranda's avatar

It shocked me to my core! Thank you for your loving words Melanie. Sending love and light right back!

Stephanie Marie's avatar

This is beautiful, Rea. May your beautiful son rest in eternal peace and may he continue to send you the signs that bring you comfort.

Gos is holy, unbridled, pure love itself, who shows nothing but grace to all of his children. I pray the person who had the audacity to tell you otherwise, has shifted their belief system. 🙏

Rea de Miranda's avatar

Thank you Stephanie. I know he is at peace. I attended a Catholic silent retreat during my grief and met with the Bishop after Mass. He set my mind at ease about this. He called it outdated and said exactly what you said here. God is love.

v.vii's avatar

can't imagine how much that must have been to go through but I'm glad that you found some light, this brought tears to my eyes but it is beautiful in its own way. Thank you.

Rea de Miranda's avatar

Thank you for saying it is beautiful. That is exactly what I wanted you to see! Sending love and light back to you!

Keri's avatar

Sending love and support, this must have been so painful to write - your beautiful precious boy ❤️

Rea de Miranda's avatar

Thank you Rita. Sharing my journey has healed me. Comments like yours heal. Thank you for reading and reaching out.

Boo Pfeiffer's avatar

It angers me how people make those who die by suicide villains. I don't believe it, but it is rough when you're suffering enough already, to have others hit you with their fears

Rea de Miranda's avatar

You're right Boo, it is senseless.

The Audacity Coach's avatar

Our souls are eternal, and while that doesn’t change your current reality, it hopefully provides some solace and peace in your own soul.

Rea de Miranda's avatar

It does Mandolin! Thank you. 💞

Aliyah's avatar

This makes my heart ache.

I’m so sorry your son was taken from you.

Suicide is so misunderstood.

Please reach out if you ever want support.

Rea de Miranda's avatar

Thank you Aliyah.💞

Lindsay Southwick's avatar

Your words, Rea. Wow! I hate the stigma that has long surrounded suicide. The fallacies propagated by many cultures and dogmas. It's an unfair burden to place such fallacies (deemed "truths") on those who are already burdened with so much. I'm so glad you are finding your own peace and truths.

Rea de Miranda's avatar

Thank you Lindsay! I know, it is sad. People just blunder through life, talking without thinking.

I am deeply grateful I finally healed. 🩷

Lindsay Southwick's avatar

I can't remember where I heard this but I always remembered it: There's often nothing you can say to make it better, but there are things you can say that can make it worse. Going into delicate situations, the goal should be to not say anything that makes it worse. Show up. Stay quiet. Listen. Validate.

Rea de Miranda's avatar

You are right Lindsay. Just be there and give love and support.

Jen Reich's avatar

Beautiful, Rea. I lost a dear friend to suicide in college. His family church was very conservative and a woman came up to our friend group at his funeral and told us the same thing. Some ‘Christians’ are so cruel. I’m so glad you hear from your son and know that he is well. And I love the synchronicity of our posts today. Love is eternal.

Rea de Miranda's avatar

At the funeral? That is awful. I don't understand cruelty. Your heart is broken, but it seems irrelevant to them.

Thank you Jen. It was amazing when I saw your post! The Universe is magical.

Libertarian's avatar

Hey Rea, I am Catholic and don’t quite accept every human interpretation of Jesus’s will. Jesus created your son’s eternal soul and I highly doubt that such a loving and gentle person as Jesus would condemn his beautiful and innocent creation to eternal suffering. It’s not rationale at all. I still go to church, confession and pray the usual Hail Mary, Our Father, Gloria and one to Saint Michael the Archangel. And I hope to go to Heaven. But I am in doubt about a few of the interpretations that didn’t come directly from Jesus’s words.

Looks like Dymphna is patron Saint of suicide victims.

Btw; “Dymphna is the patron saint of mental illness. The US National Shrine of St. Dymphna is located inside St. Mary's Catholic Church in Massillon, Ohio.” Wikipedia

Rea de Miranda's avatar

I didn't know that. Thank you, my friend. I know he is safe and loved.

Jen Reich's avatar

Interesting, I grew up Catholic about an hour from Massillon and did not know about the shrine. Thank you for sharing.

Patty Bee's avatar

Rea, this is so beautiful. I can almost see your son dancing and sending you messages. I Believe This.

Rea de Miranda's avatar

I'm so happy you see it too Patty! Thank you. 💕

Debra Martin's avatar

I have heard those words spoken and I am sorry that somebody thought they should say such a thing to you. 🫂

I believe we all return to that source of love when we pass, no matter the circumstances.

I too contemplated suicide in my life when things seemed hopeless.

I am glad you found peace to carry on. Your story and that of your son, are important and meaningful. Someone somewhere needs to hear them. 💞

Rea de Miranda's avatar

That you for saying this Debra! Much love. 💞

Rea de Miranda's avatar

That was supposed to be thank you. 😊

sandra's avatar

I'm so sorry that someone dared to tell you that.

I believe that good people, no matter how they go or what they believe in, will get a peaceful rest. And seeing what a beautiful person you are, I can imagine that Emile was the same and is at peace <3

Rea de Miranda's avatar

You touch my heart Sandra. Thank you for your kind words. 🩷🩷

Amy Parks's avatar

Beautiful

Rea de Miranda's avatar

Thank you Amy! 💞

Joe Nichols's avatar

The ‘righteous’ can be so wretched sometimes. Such a dangerous thing is certainty in the hands of the unthinking. I cannot surpass what Gibran would say but I agree with it. Sometimes we say more by saying less.

Rea de Miranda's avatar

Dangerous Joe. Thank you!

Aurelia Katete's avatar

Losing someone like that is not something anyone can understand unless they have been there. I am glad you were able to find peace knowing that he felt the burdens of the earthly plane were too much and that he is at a better place where he is now. It is not easy for those of us who remain. Again, sorry you had to go through that. Glad you were able to continue on. We are glad you are sharing your story with us.

Rea de Miranda's avatar

Thank you for your lovely words Aurelia. It used to anger me when people said he was in a better place. Now I know, he is. 🩷

Aurelia Katete's avatar

Your story weighed on me today. It gave me strength and I have some empathy for the “how did I miss that?” Part of it. I received a call today that someone close to me was considering doing exactly what your son did and now I am having to sit on pins and needles because I don’t know if they will or they won’t. I thought about the stories you shared about your experience. From them, I drew strength and hope for a better tomorrow. For my loved one and for my sanity. For now, this is still their earthly plane. I can only hope we can provide the help they need. Thank you for just being here and I thank Substack for allowing you to be.

Rea de Miranda's avatar

Thinking of you Aurelia! You can support them. Stay strong. 🩷