Hikikomori
Extreme avoidance of social contact
Humans unsettle my soul. Their constant chattering and motion unnerve me. I struggle to be present and social in crowds, and even spending time with one person for a while is disturbing.
My being feels unbalanced around other people. I am what you would call unsocial, a recluse.
Solitary is my nature. Even though I crave being alone, I am not lonely. I am comfortable in my own company. People don’t understand this about me. It feels alien to them to not be surrounded by others. Their need for constant company baffles me in turn. Give me nature any day of the week, instead of humans.
I call socializing “peopling”. I can only “people” for a little while then I must retreat to quietude. My soul needs hikikomori like oxygen, water, and food.
hikikomori
/ˌhɪkɪkəˈmɔːri/
noun
noun: hikikomori; plural noun: hikikomori (in Japan) the extreme avoidance of social contact.
Goodness gracious me!! There truly is a word for everything!! I have to add this to my list of maladies.
I enjoy being alone. No drama. No one to please or entertain. Except my husband and my children. We don't need to be in each other's company all day, he gives me space which I gladly do in return.
Having a word, for it makes me feel less alien! I never feel lonely alone, but I often feel lonely around people. I wonder if there's a word for that, too? Thank you,Rea, for giving voice to my soul.