I'm Not A Victim

I'm a victor!!

When I was searching for a writing community and found Substack, I never thought it would change my life. It didn’t occur to me that I would face my childhood sexual abuse head-on, and in the process, finally heal my brokenness.

Before writing about it here, I never spoke about it. Not even in many years of therapy. I was ashamed of myself. What I learned is that shame is a lie someone told you about yourself. It was never my shame to carry. The reason I decided to write about it is the brave women who shared their stories on Substack. They gave me the courage to speak up. I am forever grateful, because it changed my life.

During the December holidays, I visited my mother, and I forgave her. It felt like a huge burden lifted from me. I was finally free from the bonds, free from being a sexual child abuse victim. It doesn’t define me. I am not a victim, I am a victor.

Forgiveness didn’t come easy. It took me years of hating her for not standing up for me and fucking up my mind in countless ways. God knows why, I didn’t want to know, I only wanted to be free of the cancer that burrowed itself into my mind. I knew if I allowed her to say anything, I wouldn’t be able to forgive her. Thank God, I am free!!

Namaste