The courage to write this truth so clearly takes my breath away. That Anaïs Nin quote, paired with your story, perfectly exposes how predators and society gaslight us into carrying shame that was never ours. What strikes me most is how you’ve connected the dots between childhood abuse, victim-blaming, and the way we’re taught to hate our bodies. It’s all the same lie designed to make us smaller and quieter. Thank you for refusing to stay silent about these twisted messages. Your voice speaking this truth breaks the cycle for other women still believing those lies about themselves. 💛
I hope it reaches them, Sly. We've been lied to, for long enough. The abusers should be ashamed of their depraved actions. But they are too weak. We don't need validation from anyone. We are proud of who we are. 🧡🤎
Rea, “The abusers should be ashamed of their depraved actions. But they are too weak.”YES. That’s exactly where the shame belongs, and your refusal to carry it anymore is so powerful. Your courage to speak this truth will reach the women who need to hear it. When we stop carrying shame that was never ours, we permit others to put theirs down, too. You should be proud of who you are. A survivor who refuses to stay silent. That’s everything. 🧡
Shame actually occurs when you make a mistake. When positioned correctly, what is there to be ashamed of. Love is a feeling of mutual respect and belonging, under any circumstances
Not when you are sexually abused as a child. That is not love. A child can't be responsible for that. So it is misplaced shame. The adult should feel shame.
Dear Rea, this post is striking in its honesty. Of all the traps we fall into as abuse survivors, shame is perhaps the hardest to climb out of.
One aspect of surviving abuse that we never really discuss is the long term effects on intimate relationships. Shame shapes these is ways that create much difficulty, conflict, and further mental damage.
Dear Rea, I totally understand this! I think many are in the same boat, and I've definitely not seen any sort of action on the treatment / healing front to really address any of it. I hear you!
Yes. Shame is one of the earliest emotions we feel. It does stay with us our whole lives, making us feel bad for who we are. Rea, thank you for sharing about your abuse. I am an abuse survivor too, and like you, was made to feel it was my fault. It does negatively affect how we see sexual relationships. You speak much truth here. Thank you.
Recognising and addressing our blueprints is crucial, I believe, in addressing shame. Upbringing and cultural values are two key ones I learned to address.
Thank you for sharing this Rea! We need to talk more about things like this. So many things are rooted in our childhood and something wrong being said or done to us.
The courage to write this truth so clearly takes my breath away. That Anaïs Nin quote, paired with your story, perfectly exposes how predators and society gaslight us into carrying shame that was never ours. What strikes me most is how you’ve connected the dots between childhood abuse, victim-blaming, and the way we’re taught to hate our bodies. It’s all the same lie designed to make us smaller and quieter. Thank you for refusing to stay silent about these twisted messages. Your voice speaking this truth breaks the cycle for other women still believing those lies about themselves. 💛
I hope it reaches them, Sly. We've been lied to, for long enough. The abusers should be ashamed of their depraved actions. But they are too weak. We don't need validation from anyone. We are proud of who we are. 🧡🤎
Rea, “The abusers should be ashamed of their depraved actions. But they are too weak.”YES. That’s exactly where the shame belongs, and your refusal to carry it anymore is so powerful. Your courage to speak this truth will reach the women who need to hear it. When we stop carrying shame that was never ours, we permit others to put theirs down, too. You should be proud of who you are. A survivor who refuses to stay silent. That’s everything. 🧡
That is so true.
They should feel ashamed. <3
a million yes to this
a billion yes to you 🙏🫶
Thank you, Juan!
you’re such a blessing, rea.
Thank you, Pen.
"If sex was love, but sex was dirty, then love was wrong. That means that love is shameful."
Ah yes! Still undoing this one.
Thaank you for this important share Rea 💚
Thank you for commenting. 🙏
Shame actually occurs when you make a mistake. When positioned correctly, what is there to be ashamed of. Love is a feeling of mutual respect and belonging, under any circumstances
Not when you are sexually abused as a child. That is not love. A child can't be responsible for that. So it is misplaced shame. The adult should feel shame.
I think you misunderstood my message.
Yes. someone who has done something wrong, and done something, as a perpetrator should be ashamed. And that is child abuse.
Exactly, Jybyky. 💞
Suire
Wow, Rea... so powerful, stripped to the bone and truly written! I admire your strength and honesty.❤️
Thank you, Diana! ❤️
Dear Rea, this post is striking in its honesty. Of all the traps we fall into as abuse survivors, shame is perhaps the hardest to climb out of.
One aspect of surviving abuse that we never really discuss is the long term effects on intimate relationships. Shame shapes these is ways that create much difficulty, conflict, and further mental damage.
Peace,
Mike
Exactly Mike! I have never had normal love for a man. I don't know how. The sexual abuse and the shame warped my mind.
Thank you! ❤️🤎
Dear Rea, I totally understand this! I think many are in the same boat, and I've definitely not seen any sort of action on the treatment / healing front to really address any of it. I hear you!
Great post, Rea. Also a survivor here as well. You speak the truth.
Thank you, Nancy. Sending love and peace. 🤍🤍
Yes. Shame is one of the earliest emotions we feel. It does stay with us our whole lives, making us feel bad for who we are. Rea, thank you for sharing about your abuse. I am an abuse survivor too, and like you, was made to feel it was my fault. It does negatively affect how we see sexual relationships. You speak much truth here. Thank you.
I am sorry the same thing happened to you, Stephanie. We are warriors! They won't push us in a box!
If we could see by the gaslighting performed, we would never have to use a bulb again.
The lies about the way we should look, act, and accept have been piled layer upon layer until they now scrape the moon as it passes in the night sky.
Centuries of lies, look this way for a generation, then another way at another time, like dancing monkeys performing for the drunken organ grinder.
Enough already!
Exactly, Emma! Enough!!
Thank you for writing this
Thank you for commenting, MaryAnn. 🩷
Well said Rea ♥️
Thank you, Esther. ❤️🤍
Wow Rea, thank you! This piece is one after my heart ❤️ All the truth is here in your words! 🙏🏻🦋
Dankie, Vlinder! ❤️🤍🙏
Recognising and addressing our blueprints is crucial, I believe, in addressing shame. Upbringing and cultural values are two key ones I learned to address.
You are right, Eileen. It influences us negatively.
Thank you for sharing this Rea! We need to talk more about things like this. So many things are rooted in our childhood and something wrong being said or done to us.
Precisely, Lidia!